A Million Steps

Crossing the Pyranees was such an amazing experience! Ryan, myself and about 500 other pilgrims left St Jean Pied de Port as the sun was beginning to rise. The weather had turned from glorious sunshine the day before to dark clouds and torrential downpour. Not exactly how I had envisioned my first day on the Camino but excitement and anticipation sent us happily on our way. 

The 1000 foot climb up the Pyranees was filled with spectacular pastoral views, charming farms painted white with roofs and trim in red. The pastures and our pathway brimmed with sheep, cows and horses all wearing large bells that filled the air with a magical song. We also encountered large pigs. They were very large and cute!

The trek up the mountain was fairly difficult with the climb and cold, whipping rain but the sites and company made it very enjoyable. Ryan and I were both in high spirits. Once at the top, we began to make our way down. At first it was not so difficult then the path became very steep and slick. On one side was a steep, downward, wooded slope. As we gingerly made our way down, we saw a man and woman walking along the side of the road near the slope. Somehow, the man lost his footing and fell backwards with his head downhill. His wife started yelling and we quickly went over to them. Ryan grabbed one of his legs and the man yelled, “Let go of me!”. Every time he struggled to get up he would slipped a little more down the hill, a human slip and slide of sorts. I yelled at him to stop moving and Ryan pulled his leg. His wife just stood there shouting “Jesus!” and I don’t think she was praying. Ultimately, we managed to get him back on his feet but he wasn’t so grateful. I’m sure he was just embarrassed and I don’t think he realized how close he was to slipping down the hill.  😳

I’m alone on a bus traveling from Spain to France. I mean, alone! My travels started at my front door and took me through Denver, New York La Guardia to New York JFK by taxi, to London, then on to Bilbao, Spain where I spent the night in a hotel. With map in hand, I found my way to the bus station and ultimately to the right bus. Incredible! 

The reason I find this so amazing is because I have spent most of my life living in fear…fear of physical harm, emotional harm and spiritual harm. It’s kept me paralyzed in my ability to fully live life. 

The thing I’m realizing about fear is that it ensnares you in a small world. It only allows you a small peephole to view what is around you. And even then, that small view has a filter, a filter that is dark and dirty. Dark with imagined fears and dirty from past failures and negative experiences. 

The culture of the world we live in tries to keep us hiding behind our front door. It tells us it’s dangerous to go outside. “Be very cautious” it says, “you may be at risk!” “Is it really worth taking a chance at being in harm’s way?” “Stay home where it’s safe!”

Today I choose to live in freedom. I choose to go boldly out into this world and face my fears. I choose to seek new experiences that are above my comfort level. I choose to engage with people who don’t look, act, talk or believe like me. 

In recent years I have come to lean heavily on the CS Lewis quote that our daughters use frequently in their travels. 

“The first action to be taken is to pull ourselves together. If we are going to be destroyed by an atomic bomb, let that bomb, when it comes, find us doing sensible and human things — praying, working, teaching, reading, listening to music, bathing the children, playing tennis, chatting to our friends over a pint and a game of darts — not huddled together like frightened sheep and thinking about bombs.” -CS Lewis

I challenge you to grab your suitcase, your dreams or the hand of someone who’s unlike you and face fear head-on! When we look fear straight in the eye, we realize it’s really just a cowardly little Gollum that gains power only when we allow ourselves to partner with it. 

Aahhhhh!!!!! I’m at the airport and it all feels so surreal! After nearly two and a half years of planning, I’m bedecked in my REI best from head to toe and ready for an epic adventure! 

One of the things I’m most excited about is finally having my pack figured out after packing and unpacking so many times! Everything was decided on, packed and ready to go 3 days ago when I brought it out to show Scott’s parents. I showed them how I had everything organized in packing cubes and how cool the water pack was. I opened the water pack to show how it was filled, closed it and put everything back. It wasn’t long before I realized water was flowing out the bottom of my pack! Ah!! Somehow the water pack hadn’t closed properly and everything, including my sleeping bag, was soaked! This required me to take everything out to dry. I decided to rework my packing list in the meantime…really?? 😐 This, of course lead to things I’d forgotten. Which, of course lead to yet another trip to REI. In the end, I’m at the airport, with my pack, with (or without) everything I could possibly need and feeling very happy and prepared.

As I reread this post it begs the question….why was I carrying water to Spain with me anyway?

I’m less than two weeks from leaving for Europe. So, this weekend and last Scott and I have walked long distances with our packs. It’s been fun and we’ve had some great experiences. One night last weekend we walked by a group of people having a barbecue of fresh caught salmon. They invited us to join them and before we could respond they filled plates for us. It was really fun to visit with this friendly bunch and share an impromptu meal. 

Today as we were getting ready to go out the door Ryan called. He was just heading out on his own walk and we ended up talking the whole time. We were on opposite coasts yet we had a training day together! We literally talked about the Camino the whole 3 hours! I’m so looking forward to that being our daily reality. What an amazing gift to spend this time with Ryan!

Last Friday we walked 9 miles and on Saturday we walked 11 which included walking up and down Mt Tabor. Today we tackled 15 miles which is the amount we will walk each day on the Camino. Lyla has been our constant companion on these walks. She’s great to walk with. We’ll miss her while we’re gone but she’s going to Border Collie camp in Central Oregon. This trainer/border/breeder has 10+ border collies of her own so Lyla will have a great time herself!